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white, cute

June 2010



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Jun. 18th, 2010

white, cute

Weird Dreams

Do many other people get a lot of recurring dreams? I have two dreams that occur quite often, and several others that are also frequent, but I always find it weird that I have the same exact dream over and over again (my nightmares are another story, but they are also very frequent).

My most frequent dream is of me flying in some sense. I am either jumping high into the sky, or I am skating through the sky as if I am an ice skater.

The next one is of me swimming in a clear blue ocean that has a lot of sea animals everywhere, peacefully swimming along. I am often swimming next to huge whales, or with dolphins, or surrounded by beautifully clear blue depths. It's weird in the sense that I am deathly afraid of the ocean. I rarely go in any deeper than my knees because I always think a shark is going to jump out and eat me. But I guess my subconscious realizes that 'What the heck woman, you are SCARED of the ocean. Be SCARED now!' and so my ocean dreams then transform into having menacing sharks and me somehow drowning.

I heard from random people that sometimes dreams are representations of what we are missing or wanting in our real lives. I don't know how the ocean and flying dreams have anything to do with what I want in my life because I am deathly afraid of heights and the ocean...But I suppose it correlates better to the dreams in which I have someone that romantically wants me or has me.

I've only had one boyfriend in my life, and briefly dated another guy. I suppose this number would be greater if I was allowed to date before I went to college, but whatever. I don't feel ashamed by the fact that I don't date much. Especially since it has only been about two years since I have entered the dating world. But it doesn't stop me from wanting someone to care for me and take care of me. Not many of my other friends have boyfriends, but the ones who do are always taking about the new boyfriend off the month.

But still, the dreams in which there is a guy who slowly starts to like me because of my wit and charm (HA!) are the ones I love best. I could do without the whole love at first sight B.S. and chic flicks leave me screaming "CHEESE!! CHEESE!!! WHY IS THERE SO MUCH CHEESE?!!" to the point where my girlfriends never go to a romantic comedy with me (thank god...).

I suppose you could say that my favorite dream of all time was the one in which I was a detective, and for some unknown reason, was living my life as a boy because I didn't think girl detectives were respected. My partner didn't know I was a female but always found me hilarious and amusing. There was some weird case that I can't remember we had, but he started liking me in a way that he thought inappropriate because he thought I was a guy and he was straight. But it got to the point where he threw away his inhibition and confessed to me (I get butterflies just remembering it...sigh...) saying he didn't care I was a guy, but he loved me and then took me away to be thoroughly ravished.

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Oct. 6th, 2009

white, cute

Nothing much to do...

Jeez, it's already the second week of sophomore year in college and it's pretty boring. Not much is happening except a heck of a lot of studying for Bio and Chemistry. Bleh. Chemistry can go rot...

Already this Friday I have my first Bio midterm, which is weird, considering that a MIDTERM is supposed to be in the MIDDLE of the TERM instead of in the second week. But that is how sadistic all the Bio teachers are. You have to get used to it sometime...

I'm thinking of minoring in either Women Studies or Art History...I already took two classes of Women's Studies and got A's in both...but in Art History class I took in the summer I got the highest grade from the whole class. Plus, I like Art, since I was thinking of majoring in it anyways...I'll probably just talk to my Bio Counselor about it later...

On another note, my crazy 30 year old stalker has finally got the message and has stopped calling me. He still comments on every little thing I do on Facebook, but he has finally stopped messaging me strange comments which is a HUGE relief.

Hmm...I should probably go back to studying...

Jul. 14th, 2009

white, cute

What the freak?!

omg. OMG. OMG. OMG.

Ok, so.  Basically, last summer, I was taking summer classes at the University that I was gonna go to. One time, I was walking to class, and this guy smiled at me, and I smiled back to be polite. He swept in and started a conversation with me. Thinking he was a freshman like me, I gave him my phone number thinking that I have someone I know that I can talk to. However, after several times talking to him on the phone, and him finding me on facebook, I learn that he has already graduated from the university. I don't think much of it, thinking that it was probably my mistake or something. So, it wasn't very far into our "friendship" that I get the feeling that he is interested in me. Mind you, I haven't seen him again since then because he moved to Illinois for a job in some company.

Anywho, so, he keeps coming to down to the city where my University is, I was always busy with something and never hung out with him. Then, just a couple of days ago, I looked at his profile and realized that it said he had a phD in Electrical Engineering! I was all like "WHAT?!" I made it a goal to figure out exactly how much older he is than me (he didn't post the year of his birth on his profile...). In our conversation today, after we discussed the future of the United States government (I know...I don't think I will ever have to go an Econ class ever again), he brought up something about coming back down in a month or so. He also noticed that on my facebook I had gone to Las Vegas and was wondering if I wanted to go with him. In my head I was all like "WHAT THE FREAK?!" but I responded casually (it was on chat) saying that my parents are really strict and that they would never be ok with that. Then, cooly changing the subject, I asked him how old he was, saying that I saw he had a phD and was wondering how long it took. He said he was freaking 26. I am almost turning 19. I thought "...oh wow...he is REALLY older than me." But, I figured if I kept the conversations always friendly nothing bad will come of it.

He said he had entered college when he was 16 and finished at 20. I was really impressed, but then he brought up one of his friends who is around 22 and she is engaged to a guy who is 11 years older than her and I told him that I thought the age difference was pretty old, and were the parents ok with it? He said that it was between the two of them. I agreed just to appease him, saying that maybe when people are older age doesn't matter as much.

Then. When we were saying good bye. He dropped the huge ass bomb on me. He said that it was true he entered college when he was 16. But. He is actually 30!!! WHAT THE FREAK-A-ZOID?!!?!?!?!!? He said that he was shy or something and that he realy hopes that we stay friends. After freaking alot to my roommates, I replied that it was fine and we can be friends, jus that I didn't appreciate him lying to me about his age when I was always honest with him about everything.

Omg. I really can't believe what just happened....I feel more relaxed now that I wrote it all out though...Omg...I don't know what to do right now. Gah. I'm gonna talk to my roommates and my mom and get some advice on what to do. Gah. I hate drama. Why does it always come to me? And why the freak do all the old guys like me (this isn't the first guy who was at least 10 years older than me that has expressed interest!). Gah. I am gonna lie down now.... 

Jun. 14th, 2009

white, cute

It's been a while

I can't believe that although i set up a livejournal account for more than a year, this is my second entry...

Well, the last time I posted something, I was just graduating from high school...now I already finished my first year of college. It's not really waht I thought it would be. First of all, I came to my school as one of the smartest people in my high school. Now, I am just barely passing. It doesn't help that since I am a Bio major, all the people around me are super competitive and incredibly smart. One of my dorm mates (who I will be rooming with next year) was her class Valedictorian. Another went to a school that is ranked in the top 10 or 20 in the United States...the pressure is on. Especially when I'm in college I have a much better and easier time with the Humanities. But I cannot think of changing my major..I have always wanted to be a pediatrician...I cannot give up now. I just need to work harder.

But now I am in summer vacation. I will have some time to put my act together and regain my confidence. I am taking some gen ed classes so that will hopefully bring up my GPA and my confidence.

Jun. 10th, 2008

white, cute


Hello people who will probably never bother reading this. I have had livejournal for a while now, but I have never bothered to write in it before. The only real reason that I even bothered getting a livejournal was so I could post comments on mistful's stories. But now I guess I have some reason to post little blogs here and there..

Tomorrow will be my high school graduation. It came so so fast, I can hardly believe it. I mean, I still remember my middle school self driving past the high school thinking it was so big, and that I will probably get lost, bump into some punks, and have myself thoroughly stuffed in a locker...needless to say, that never happened :D .

But now graduation is here, and I guess it started sinking in today when we were doing our graduation practice. We didn't have our robes on or anything, but still, they went over most of what was going to happen and what-not. (I also have many complaints about our robes, I mean, the boys wear a really rich brown  color, and the girls have to wear gold. GOLD?!?! That totally sucks. I have one friend who has the prettiest red hair imaginable, and with the gold robe, her hair looks brown...).

All of my friends were hanging out outside after all of our cap and gown photos. It was great fun, and everyone was laughing so much, one of my friends got a huge stomache.

Gah... at least I am having a not-so-Graduation Extravaganza that same day instead of wasting $180 on Grad Night. I heard it's gonna be in a club, and we will have to stay there from 11p.m.-6a.m. No thank you. Especially if we can't bring our cell phone or anything (what will happen if someone kidnaps and rapes us, how about then?!), and I'll probably fall asleep halfway through it, all the while with no chairs to sit on -_-...

So ya, at least I can look forward to a hopeful update on mistful's stories. That will brighten my day, that it will :D.

To all a great Graduation, no matter what year (although '08 kicks all your bums!),